Chapter 15
“Wraith!”
It was the third time he’d called her name, and her eyes finally snapped to him. Open wide. Pupils dilated.
He started toward her, but she pushed away to the far side of the cot.
“Bad idea, Major, you should keep your distance.”
Coming from Wraith, those words should’ve been forceful or sardonic. They weren’t. And they weren’t a threat, or even a warning.
They were a plea.
He stepped back to the bunk farthest from her and sat down; eyes never leaving her. She tracked him the entire time and there was something predatory in her gaze.
“What did he do to you?”
She shrugged one shoulder, and he saw she was shivering.
“Thought it would be funny to give me Liquid Silk. Or it was all they had for painkillers when they worked on my ribs. One of the two.”
Silk.
It was infamous.
He’d never used it. Never had to from a pain perspective. Never chosen to, recreationally. But he’d talked to people that had. Read the studies on it.
It put your body into overdrive, almost regressing to infant requirements to be held. To be felt. And the effects were always worse if you didn’t have much opportunity for physical touch.
And Wraith?
Other than medical attention and the fight with Spook, had she touched anyone? He couldn’t imagine what it was like not to touch anyone for more than five years.
She had to be going through hell.
“Come here.”
She answered him through gritted teeth, “I already told you, it’s not a good idea.”
“Void take you, Wraith. I’m not trying to fuck you. I’m offering to hold you. Your virtue is safe.”
She stared at him as if he were some kind of impossible puzzle, then slowly rose to her feet. She cocked her head, took a shuddering breath.
“But yours may not be safe with me.”
She locked her gaze on his, took a step forward.
“Golden Boy.”
Another step.
“Major.”
Another.
“Helios.”
She was at the bed now. Leaned down on one knee, face mere inches from his.
“Kael.”
She paused for three heartbeats, waiting for him to push her back. But hearing his name on her lips shattered his resolve.
So, when she sealed her lips to his, he kissed her back. Desperately. Tasting her. Wanting her. Needing her.
It took control he didn’t think he had to gently push her back, even as her whimper had him cursing himself. This wasn’t seduction—it was Silk whispering into hunger she hadn’t been allowed to feel for five years.
“You’ll hate me if we do this.”
“I’ll hate you if we don’t.”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Lay down, holding her against his chest and stroking her back.
“Just lie here with me for a while, Wraith, it will pass. I promise.”
She struggled, just a little. Then huffed out a breath and shifted to what was presumably more comfortable position. One with more points of contact. He hissed in a breath.
“Your lips are saying no, Major,” She rocked her hips gently, “But I’ve gotta say, I’m getting some mixed messaging.”
“Just… listen to the words, yeah?”
“Ugh, fine. But I’m going to hold this against you later.”
“You promise?”
She gave a snort of laughter, “Definitely. Maybe.”
He smelled of blood, and sweat, and under it all, a hint of his aftershave or deodorant. Something that reminded her of the trees of her far distant childhood.
Under her ear, his heart was regaining a calmer rhythm. Slowing. Settling. Wraith wished she could say the same.
He was so warm, and she had been cold for so fucking long. And every soft stroke of his hand up and down her back was an effort not to arch up into his touch.
I’m offering to hold you.
She squeezed her eyes shut. How the fuck was she meant to deal with that? Especially when it was exactly what he was doing.
Fucking the Major would be easy. Much easier than Zane, despite their history.
Taking comfort where it was offered? That was a whole different battlefield.
But she also understood what no meant.
“Tell me about Shade?”
His voice sighed over her skin like velvet. She squeezed her eyes tighter.
“Gathering intel, Major?”
“Trying to distract you.” The way his voice was wrapping around her was probably not the type of distraction he intended.
“Don’t you have a file somewhere?”
“Sure. Want me to go first? You can fill in the blanks. Or not. As you choose.”
Choice.
Somehow it was always an illusion.
She needed—
Void take it all. She couldn’t ask for that. Could she?
The shakes were starting up again, and his arms came around her, tightening.
“Can I ask a favor first?” The words were quiet, spoken through clenched teeth.
“Sure.”
“Would you… Can I…” she sighed, felt a tear flow a solitary path down her cheek into the soft material of his jumpsuit. “Will you let me kiss you again, just for a minute? Nothing more. I can’t think straight and… it helped.”
Admitting that was harder than testing the Tether had been.
He stilled. She shook.
Then one arm let go of her and his hand tilted her head upwards. She’d asked to kiss him, but he kissed her instead, slow and deep and enticing. And for a moment more, she let herself forget… everything.
Then she pulled back, nodded at him, and laid her head back down over his heart, and let her hand rest on his chest.
“Zane wasn’t the heart of the unit, but somehow he was the glue that held us together.”
The words were a murmur, barely audible, and Kael blinked away tears.
This was payment he didn’t need. For services freely, Void-damned given.
He’d seen exactly how much asking had cost her. And he might just murder Shade for that alone.
She wasn’t invulnerable. He knew that. Had witnessed it.
But he’d never expected to see her like this.
Unarmored.
He wrapped his arms more tightly around her as she shivered.
Depending on how much Silk Shade had pumped into her, the shakes could last another one to four hours.
Sex would help, physiologically speaking. But she’d been right all along—
It would be a terrible fucking idea.
He pressed a soft kiss into her hair. One he doubted she’d remember.
He wouldn’t take information as payment. No matter how curious he was. So instead, he started to talk.
“We never had much info on Shade. Just what his standard military file said.” A beat. Then he deadpanned, “Weirdly enough, all the info on how you and the others became Ghosts was heavily redacted.”
Wraith gave a low chuckle through chattering teeth, “Funny that.”
“Came back to bite us. Tethys was destroyed, and Nyx went dark. Permanently.”
She tried to focus on his voice. The words instead of the feel.
“Nyx?”
He stilled beneath her, then shrugged.
“The research lab for Inbetween modification. You were probably there at some point.”
“You mean when they rewrote half our DNA? Yeah, little fuzzy on that.”
“Half? Come now, I’d say a quarter at most.”
She clenched her fist, more against the continuing shudders than the words. “I’d hit you if I thought I could stop at just one. Remind me to break a couple of your ribs later.”
“Okay, but fair warning: I may forget to tell you. My memory is terrible, you know. I’m notorious for it.”
“Are you trying to make me laugh?”
“Maybe. Is it working?”
She gave a half smile, “Maybe.”
Closed her eyes.
“Just keep talking, Golden Boy. I like listening to you.”